Missing You

Looking up at the sky and wondering if your looking down at me
Praying each day that you can feel the love I had for you
Each day is hard but knowing that you are at peace will one day bring me joy
I could never say you were like a father to me because you were my father
We had a bond
As the sun sets and it's dark orange color fades from the sky
I can't help but wonder... where are you now?

Sometimes

In life people lose site of the big picture starring them in the face.
Many times we're blinded by the little pieces of the puzzle that we think may shift our destined plans in life to favor our wants and desires.
But it's up to us to understand that sometimes life isn't about us... 

Today

Today
I feel like I've taken my strength back and told the world enough with your negative energy. I can do this. My life will not be perfect but I can get past the imperfections. 

I Love You

I want to run to you, I love you with all of my heart, soul, and being
I run to you because you are my shelter, my strength, my main motivation to succeed
Without you I would have been nonexistent
Although I may sometimes get stressed out by your actions, I know that what you do is because you love me
And for that I just want to run to you, because I know you will always have my best interest
Even when it feels like I'm alone, I know I'm not because you are there every day without fail
And because of that I love…

Why is it

Why would you push someone into an uncomfortable position for kicks?
Respect is a characteristic that you lack
It's not funny
You put me in a place I do not like to be in
Just let me do me, peacefully

Stop trying so hard,
Why the need to stay up on materials you do not need
Why change attitudes when around different crowds of your own peers,
Being one of you is all you should need
Why the need to only remember what you please
You said to me we not how we used to, it's kind of hard when now its 2 vs. 1

Fall back,
I sit and wonder where I went wrong, since I can only control and fix my actions
And then I realize I'm good living, loving and laughing without pushing others down

Just breathe
Stop focusing so much on me focus on you and yours and maybe things could get better

I can only continue to pray for you
And forgive and forget, and that’s what I shall do

I Said to Poetry by Alice Walker

I said to poetry: 'I'm finished
with you.'
Having to almost die
before some weird light
comes creeping through
is no fun.
'No thank you, Creation,
no muse need apply.
I'm out for good times--
at the very least,
some painless convention.'

Poetry laid back
and played dead
until this morning.
I wasn't sad or anything,
only restless.

Poetry said: 'You remember
the desert, and how glad you were
that you have an eye
to see it with? You remember
that, if ever so slightly?'
I said: 'I didn't hear that.
Besides, its five o' clock in the a.m.
I'm not getting up
in the dark
to talk to you.'

Poetry said: 'But think about the time
you saw the moon
over that small canyon
that you liked much better
than the grand one-- and how supurised you were
that the moonlight was green
and you still had
one good eye
to see with.

Think of that!'

'I'll join the church!' I said,
huffily, turning my face to the wall.
'I'll learn how to pray again!'

'Let me ask you,' said Poetry.
'When you pray, what do you think
you'll see?'

Poetry had me.

'There's no paper
in this room,' I said.
'And that new pen I bought
makes a funny noise.'
'Bullshit,' said Poetry.
'Bullshit,' said I.

That Chapter in My Life

They say whatever you throw out into the universe,
like a boomerang it will come back to you.
Your thoughts of the pass, you can't let go.
Yes it happened, Yes it hurts,
No you don't want to happen again,
but you just can't let go.

The memories of that broken heart
haunts you in your sleep,
thinking about yesterday
and why it still hurts today.
You just can't understand the art of letting go.

Well, I'm going to let go,
I'm going to be fine,
My heart won't be broken for long.
I will forgive,
I will learn,
I will understand,
and I will love again.

"Relationships"

I've learned that sometimes relationships are just way too hard to mess with.

We end up resenting each other because of all the false trust and unworthiness.

All we hope to be is happy and agree with what we want.

Unfortunately, relationships do down a path of unhappiness,

when it's hard you don't have a clue when it will become easy again...if it was ever easy.

So we tend to panic and unintentionally hope for the worst;

What ifs? and doubt take over what we once imagined would be perfect for us.

Yes, I do love you but I can't take the indistinguishable pressure.

Theses unknown pressures that wake me up at night wondering when they will stop.

I want you, but I don't want your flaws you say to yourself.

Today in church...

The message was about having loyal friends, and it got me to thinking what i consider as a friend and this is what i came up with:

-someone who you can call on at whatever time for whatever reason
-someone who you can talk openly to
-someone who will try to see things thru your eyes
-someone who does not hold you accountable for things you have no control over
-someone who will at the end of the day have your back regardless of the distance thats between you two
-someone who will snap you back into your place if you are getting out of wack
-someone who cares about you at times when you dont care about yourself
-someone who tries to make you laugh or tries to lighten up your day because it was pretty demanding

with all being said i am pretty sure we all have different explanations for the word friend and different expectations for how friends should be and thats why i think we should all tell each other what is the definition and are the expectations that we have for being a good positive friend. i think it will be a great exercise for us to do ;-)

I hope you all are doing GREAT

And

remember "HE'S ABLE TO DO ALL HE SAYS HE WILL DO!!!!!1"

PSALM

1 Deliver me, O LORD, from evil men;
Preserve me from violent men,

2 Who plan evil things in their hearts;
They continually gather together for war.

3 They sharpen their tongues like a serpent;
The poison of asps is under their lips. Selah

4 Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked;
Preserve me from violent men,
Who have purposed to make my steps stumble.

5 The proud have hidden a snare for me, and cords;
They have spread a net by the wayside;
They have set traps for me. Selah

6 I said to the LORD: “You are my God;
Hear the voice of my supplications, O LORD.

7 O GOD the Lord, the strength of my salvation,
You have covered my head in the day of battle.

8 Do not grant, O LORD, the desires of the wicked;
Do not further his wicked scheme, Lest they be exalted. Selah

9 “As for the head of those who surround me,
Let the evil of their lips cover them;

10 Let burning coals fall upon them;
Let them be cast into the fire, Into deep pits, that they rise not up again.

11 Let not a slanderer be established in the earth;
Let evil hunt the violent man to overthrow him.”

12 I know that the LORD will maintain
The cause of the afflicted,
And justice for the poor.

13 Surely the righteous shall give thanks to Your name;
The upright shall dwell in Your presence.